Bandit and Bitey
by Alien-Ariel
Summary: With no recognition comes unlimited freedom. You haven't heard of Ellamae Blackstone, and you've never seen her. But she can kick your ass. Especially if you happen to be the frustratingly irresistible Red Mist. Movie based. Red Mist/OC
1. Here Kitty, Kitty

**Sooo… I'M SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THIS STORY.**

**Like, as soon as I saw the trailer in the previews to Cop Out, I was like "I am sooo doing a fanfiction on this". And here it is!**

I wish I could post the link to show you guys what Bandit and Ellamae look like, but every time I try to put a link on here it gets garbled. So, if you're curious (since I don't do much in the ways of describing outfits), just send me a message and I'll send them to you!

**This will be MOVIE based. The comic was good, but I don't like the twist with Big Daddy, it kind of killed his character (no pun intended), so... yeah. Movie based. And even then I'll be taking some creative liberties.**

**Anyway, I'd really appreciate some feedback, cause... I dunno, it's just nice. And it gets me to write new chapters faster! So it's good for you guys, too!**

**Tell me what you think, and enjoy!**

I sat on the ledge along the top of a short building, swinging my legs into the still, smog-choked air. Welcome to New York City, I guess. My black mid-calf combat boots with the red straps were heavy, so my swings had quite a bit of momentum. I could certainly throw myself right over the edge with the perfect amount of force if I wanted; but that might alert the person in the alley below me of my presence. I say that it might, because, quite honestly, he was pretty clueless.

The person I was watching paced back and forth along the short length of the alley, seemingly pumping himself up; he was kind of funny, but still had zero peripheral vision. If this were Dungeons and Dragons, he'd have rolled a 1 for perception. It wasn't even that I blended in, with my bright red X across my chest, under my double-crossed gray belts; he just seemed to trust his apparent solitude. A real superhero makes sure of his security before becoming so relaxed. In fact, a real superhero may never let his guard down.

Such was my case: even now, though I was quite sire of the fact that I was alone on this particular rooftop, I would send a glance in both directions, as well as behind me, every few seconds. He wasn't going anywhere quite yet, so I could easily multitask these two things. I think I had even knocked my boots into the bricks of the building a few times when I had become distracted, but still he didn't look up.

Eventually my target stopped pacing and slumped his shoulders. He looked defeated and glanced around the alley until his blue eyes landed on a poster of a lost cat taped to a nearby pole. He tore the paper down, read it, and set off along the street.

Maybe you're wondering how I know his eye color, from far above his head; or how I knew what was on the poster without closer examination. I don't have super vision or anything special; I know these things because it was no accident that I happened to be in the same alley as this person, that he happened to pick up that poster. This was planned... by me. I had been tailing this person for quite some time, and just needed a way to introduce myself, superhero to superhero.

I silently stood up, picked up my bamboo pole from beside me, and used it to vault from roof to roof in pursuit of Kick Ass, New York's first ever superhero, aside from me that is.

~*~

I had to give Kick Ass some credit; he had looked for that cat for quiet some time before giving up. He was heading right where I needed him though, which was convenient, right past the billboard I had picked out, the not-so-tall one outside some pitiful looking diner. Everything was going just fine until something unexpected happened.

A man being pursued by three others ran right into Kick Ass, knocking them both to the ground. The three thugs quickly caught up and proceeded to beat the shit out of the other. I twitched in my rooftop hiding spot, not sure what to do.

"Come on, Kick Ass." I whispered. Thankfully he rolled right over and charged into the fray. He took some hits, but he wasn't doing all that bad, which was a pleasant surprise. He took a hit to the back of the head by a trashcan, but made short work of the guy's wrist. I could hear the bones snap all the way up here, not to mention the man's pathetic cries.

"Yeah, that shit hurts, huh asshole? Karma's a bitch." I said to no one while picking up a sizeable brick discarded beside me from some unfinished construction project or a crumbling wall, "And so am I." I tossed it from hand to hand before reeling back and heaving it at one of the thugs, who became stunned enough for Kick Ass to clock him across the side of the head. I smiled under my black bandana when he successfully beat back the thugs and told them how he would gladly die to save a complete stranger; it was rather heartwarming, and I felt myself getting a little soft.

I waited while Kick Ass received thanks and praise from the patrons of the diner and allowed himself to quickly be interviewed by some enamored teen with a video camera on his phone. When everyone had cleared out, Kick Ass started to swagger away. I hopped along the roof and dropped to the ground in an alley he was turning into, startling him. He backed into some trashcans, falling over as he redrew his slightly bloodied batons.

"I'm not going to hurt you." I said quietly, stowing my bamboo pole onto my back to appear less threatening. However, Kick Ass just gave me a confused look.

"Huh?" He asked, tilting his head to the side, "I can't understand you." I rolled my eyes and pulled my bandana away from my mouth, letting it fall around my neck.

"Look out." I said calmly, instead of repeating what I'd previously said. It appeared that one of the thugs was trying to sneak up on the imperceptive Kick Ass, so I pulled my pole back out and, reaching around the superhero's head, knocked him around a bit. A few swift hits to critical points on the body was enough to send him running away with his tail between his legs. Maybe next time he'll think a little before trying to cut two costumed freaks in a dark alley. I looked over at Kick Ass, who was standing up again, looking impressed.

"That was cool." He admitted, still holding up his batons absentmindedly.

"Like I said, I'm not going to hurt you, so you can put your weapons down." I repeated now that I could speak clearly, "But that guy was hell bent on killing you. You should be more careful." We were conveniently joined now by a black and gray Tomcat, meowing lowly and looking wary.

"Ah, that cat!" Kick Ass said, pointing, "Help me catch him so I can return him." I picked up the cat without so much as a snarl or a scratch and held it in my arms.

"Don't worry about returning it." I said, "This is my cat. Thank you for trying so hard to find him." Kick Ass was silent a moment, mouth open in confusion.

"So wait a minute/," He finally said, waving a hand, "This cat-"

"Mr. Bitey." I interrupted, scratching aforementioned cat behind his eyes.

"Mr. Bitey," Kick Ass continued, "is your cat?"

"Yes." I said simply, smiling a little when Bitey clawed playfully at my black wavy hair and meowed.

"Why did you post signs for a lost cat if he hadn't really gotten away?" He pestered me, "If you were in the area, and your cat was in the area, I don't call that lost!"

"You're right. He wasn't lost." I admitted, raising my dark brown eyes to look into his face, "I faked the posters."

"What?!" He asked, maybe a little wounded by his first mission not being real, "Why?"

"Because I needed some way..." I started, setting down a squirming Bitey down, who immediately chased a large rat deep into a trash pile, "To meet you." Kick Ass was silent again, mouth once again wide open.

"To meet me?" He questioned, seemingly incredulous, "But who are you?" I blinked a few times, contemplating the question.

"Bandit." I answered simply.

"Y-you're a superhero, too?" He asked, pointing again.

"It would appear that way." I replied coolly, not missing a beat. I also indicated my costume.

"Oh." He said, "Well I'm-"

"Kick Ass." I said, staring, "Dave Lizewski by day." He freaked out at that, stepping away, stammering things, and promptly fell back into the trashcans, upsetting a feasting Mr. Bitey.

"Chill out." I said, smiling ever so slightly. I held out my hand, "I won't tell anyone."

"Y-you won't?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Who would I tell? Who would believe me?" I said sarcastically, which may have sounded offensive; but he took my hand anyway, maybe seeing my point. I pulled him up and Bitey circled around his legs, seeing that this person was now a friend.

"Well, what's your name?" Kick Ass asked, still sounding nervous.

"You'll only find out when I decide I can trust you." I said, crossing my arms.

"But you don't wear a mask." He noticed, "Don't you care about your secret identity?" I snorted.

"I did have a mask, but you couldn't understand me with it on." I wiggled the bandana around my neck at him, "Besides, my identity is just as much a secret with or without a mask." I answered cryptically.

"So... I don't know you then?" He asked, trying to sort out what I meant.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't." I admitted, "But you should." I started to scale the short wall, using a sturdy drain spout.

"Wait!" Kick Ass called to me. I got to the top of the building and sat down on the ledge, Bitey joining me after a few impressive leaps.

"Yes?" I asked politely.

"Why... Why should I know you?" He asked, looking up at me. I smirked down on him.

"Well we do go to the same school, you know." I answered smartly before making a move to get up.

"Wait, Bandit!" He said once more. I sat back down.

"Yes, Kick Ass?" I repeated.

"Did you want to, like... team up, or- something?" He asked haltingly, squinting to look at me. I actually laughed this time, which was rare for me.

"That would be the reason for meeting you, yes." I said, shaking my head but smiling widely.

"Ok then, uh... sounds good!" He said, probably not sure what to make of me, "How will we- you know- contact... each other?" He trailed off.

"Don't worry, I'll find you." I said, pushing myself up, "You still live at 32 Belleview Lane?" I asked.

"Uh, yeah..." He said, sounding confused.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then." I said, holding up a gloved hand, "See ya, Kick Ass." And with that I set off along the roof.

My name is Ellamae Blackstone; I'm seventeen years old; I have a black and gray acrobat of a Tomcat named Mr. Bitey; and every so often, at night, I'll dress up like a superhero named Bandit and roam the streets. You probably don't know me, and you've probably never seen me, but with no recognition comes unlimited freedom. I'm just some nameless girl at Millard Fillmore High School, but I know some karate, I'm pretty handy with a bamboo pole, and I'm not bad at free running.

I can't read your mind, but I can kick your ass. And rest assured I will.


	2. The Beatdown

Ok, I was so happy with the reception of my first chapter that I worked diligently on this one before I go to work to get it out.

**Hoping to come home to some awesome reviews!**

**Again, if you want the pictures, just send me a message.**

**Tell me what you think, and enjoy!**

It wasn't long after our official introduction before Kick Ass and I were out on the streets, "patrolling" I guess you could call it. In actuality, we were just chilling out, getting used to each other. Or, he was getting used to me, more like. I had the ability to catch him completely off guard and unhinge him. Like such:

"Saw you talking to Katie Deauxma at Atomic Comics yesterday." I would say. He would look at me, all freaked out.

"Y-you did? You were at Atomic Comics?!" He would say back, all shocked.

"No." I would reply, smirking a little and staring straight ahead, "But I knew you were there."

"Oh." He'd say, and just when he'd relaxed I would send another nuke his way.

"Heard you're her new gay BFF." I would say. He'd give me the same look.

"Y-you did? How did you hear that?!" He'd demand, all worried.

"Katie told me." I would reply.

"She did?!" He would fall for that.

"No." I'd admit, chuckling, "But Marty did."

"Marty told you? How do you know Marty?!" He'd yell, confused.

"I don't." I laughed.

~*~

"You have a weird sense of humor." Kick Ass was currently telling me as we sat on the ledge of a building across from Atomic Comics. It was getting dark out, maybe around 8:30 that Saturday.

"Thank you." I replied. He sighed.

"You're frustrating." He said.

"No, I'm Bandit." I said, smirking. He made a sound, "Did you just growl?"

"I wish you... wouldn't mess with me." He said, ignoring my question.

"I wish you were less gullible." I answered, still smirking. He yelled, throwing up his hands.

"I wish you'd shut your mouth for once." He said, glaring at me.

"I wish you'd get over it." I replied, laughing. He shook his head and looked back down to the street.

"You're something else." He admitted.

"Thank you." I repeated genuinely, "You're something else, for putting up with me." I think I sounded a little sad, because Kick Ass sighed and looked back at me.

"Listen Bandit, I didn't mean to-" He started.

"I feel bad for Chris D'amico." I interrupted, not wanting to talk about what I'd said. Said person was currently stepping out of a shiny black car and heading over to Atomic Comics.

"Yeah, it must be horrible to have everything you want." Kick Ass said a little bitterly.

"You sound like Marty." I noticed.

"I thought you said you didn't know Marty?" He said, looking over at me.

"Of course I know Marty." I said.

"Wait. So you do actually know him?" He asked, sounding confused.

"No." I said, smiling, "I thought we went over this." Instead of getting frustrated, I think I saw Kick Ass shake his head and laugh. I was quiet a moment, just looking in at Chris D'amico through Atomic Comics' wide front window. I frowned ever so slightly. I could relate to that loneliness; and let me tell you, it sucks.

"He doesn't have everything he wants, I'm sure." I said quietly.

"Well, I'm sure he does." Kick Ass assured me. I shook my head.

"Perhaps." I said, "So long as he doesn't want any friends." That got Kick Ass to be quiet.

"Well." He said after a while, "If we're done crying over a lonely rich kid, I have something for us to do. You know, superhero stuff. If you want." I stood up.

"Sure." I said, helping my partner up, "Where to?"

~*~

The little room was positively soaked in blood, along with the people inside it: me, Kick Ass, six dead bodies, and the squirt who had offed them so messily.

"Holy shit." I breathed, stowing my bamboo pole on my back, "What the hell, girl?" I asked the twelve-year-old currently shoving wads of hundred dollar bills into a black bag.

"I just saved your lives." She retorted, "That's what."

"Yeah, by killing a bunch of-" I started.

"A bunch of low-life drug dealers and addicts." The girl interrupted me. I tilted my head and frowned; I wasn't used to being cut off.

"We could've just taken them to the police station." I said defiantly.

"Where they would inevitably get released back onto the streets." She continued, now standing up and slinging the bad over her shoulder.

"This is wrong." I said, pointing to one of the crumpled bodies seeping blood onto my combat boots.

"This is the way the world works." She responded coolly, kicking another body out of the way on her way to the window, "Kill or be killed." And with that she landed on the fire escape, quickly ascending it.

"Come on, dammit." I growled to kick Ass as I approached the window too.

"Wait, we're following that psycho? Why?" He yelled, picking himself up from a pool of blood and storing his tazer behind his head.

"Yes." I said from the fire escape, "I'm going to find out who the fuck that bitch thinks she is." I stomped onto the roof, Kick Ass following close behind me. He'd learned enough about me to know that if I was using the F word, not to argue.

"Alright girl." I started, walking right over to the little demon, getting right in her face, "Just who the hell are you?"

"I'm Hit-Girl." She said, not at all intimidated, glaring right up into my face, "and that's Big Daddy." She added, pointing over to the billboard across the way.

"Fine." I said, but was stopped from saying anything else.

"You two have potential." She interrupted me again, "But don't act all self-righteous. You got some hits in too." I cast my eyes down and touched me pole; I knew there was blood on it.

"Yes, for protection." I admitted, lifting my flashing eyes again, "But I don't hit to kill."

"Not yet you don't." Hit-Girl said, and before I could say anything in retort, as she obviously wasn't interested in listening to it, she jumped clear over the gap between the buildings, somersaulting back into a standing position on the other side. She waved us over, but I just shook my head and sat down on the ledge defiantly. Hit-Girl and Big Daddy left, leaving only Kick Ass and I.

"Bandit?" He asked, hesitating. I cupped my face in my hands.

"I know." I said quietly, staring down into the street, "We have to get out of here."

~*~

The two of us clambered back through Dave's bedroom window. I pulled down my bandana as he took off his facemask; we just stared at each other. We hadn't said anything about the Razul beatdown since we left the building, but I knew what he was thinking. Dave wore his emotions on his sleeve. I just sat cross-legged on the floor beside the window, keeping my eyes low.

"Do you think they'll be back?" Dave finally asked me, "Hit-Girl and Big Daddy?"

"We saw something we shouldn't have." I said quietly, "They'll find us."

"Yes we will." I heard a man's voice say outside the window. Sure enough, in came Hit-Girl and Big Daddy.

"Hello again Kick Ass, Bandit." He greeted us. Dave hastily tried to pull on his mask, but Hit-Girl stopped him.

"We already know who you are." She said, smirking.

"You do?" Dave asked, sounding scared.

"We rerouted your IP address from your Myspace." Big Daddy said instead, "It was far too easy to find you." I nodded in approval. These guys may just know what they're doing.

"I won't say anything, I swear." Dave said quickly.

"We know." Hit-Girl said cockily in her husky voice.

"You see, we like you two." Big Daddy looked over to me, "We just don't trust you."

"Understandable." I muttered, speaking for the first time since they'd let themselves in, "I don't trust you two either." At that point, seeing how I was still baring my teeth, the rest of the conversation was directed at Kick Ass. Eventually they left and I stared at my friend, my legs pulled up to my chin.

"What do you want to do?" He asked me, frowning, "They said we can join them as a team, or... separately." He sounded nervous. I was silent for a while, continuing to look at him.

"I'm sticking with you." I said simply.


	3. Superhero 3

Ok, I apologize for this one taking a while. But, as I say on all my other stories, one a week is about normal for me. In fact, it might even come to being every week and a half, because I'm super busy with Senior stuff this month and in May.

Anyway, this one finally introduces your favorite guy: Red Mist. Well, Chris D'amico really, but yeah. Basically the same.

The only thing I would ask for would be reviews. (And thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far!)

Tell me what you think, and enjoy!

School was pretty much unbearable lately. It sucked to have to be Ellamae Blackstone, that antisocial faux-beatnik in the back of the classroom, when I'd so much rather be Bandit. Bandit spoke, she was witty and snarky. Bandit had friends, ones she could talk to and mess around with. Bandit wasn't some loner artist in a black beret; she was mysterious and kind of... sexy even. She was everything Ellamae wished she could be. But personality overhauls only work when people don't know that real you.

I was sitting on the floor in front of my locker during lunch, eating my sandwich behind the cover of my knees, which were pulled clear up to my line of vision. People didn't usually notice me, let alone push me around, but I liked to play it safe. Hell, I was about as safe as Chris D'amico, without the bodyguard; my parents' reputation was the only thug repellant I needed. They didn't know my name, they didn't know what I looked like, and they certainly didn't know my voice; what they did know was that there was some Senior girl who wore a beret one her head and her hair in her face that they'd best not try mugging or harassing. That is, unless they wanted to get their asses beaten to shit and dumped in the river. I laid my forehead against my knees and hugged my legs in shame.

I eventually heard Dave's voice from down the hall, along with those of Todd and Marty. I kept my head down until they passed, feeling a bubble of longing settle deep in my stomach and explode. It was painful not being able to actually be his friend, because that was all I wanted. Someone to talk to, someone to laugh with, someone I could potentially hang out with... or eat lunch with during the lonely school days.

I pulled my head back only far enough to allow myself to eat. I didn't want people to see my running eyeliner.

~*~

I decided to torture myself a little more after school. I'd overheard Dave bragging to his friends about meeting Katie Deauxma at Atomic Comics again, so I figured I'd go and look wistfully after the group while standing along the wall or by the rows of comic boxes.

However, I was in a better mood now. I didn't allow two moments of self-pity in the same day; so I was singing Disney songs under my breath, rocking my head vaguely left to right, and scanning the comics.

"Ew." I heard beside me. I glanced over and saw Chris D'amico a few rows of comics over from me, looking right at me. I raised my eyebrows.

"Well excuse me." I said, looking back down to the comics I was browsing. I stopped singing too.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean you." He said in that tone all awkward guys take when trying to hit on a girl, and laughing a little nervously. I looked over again to see him smirking slightly, which promptly fell with the cold gaze I was training on him. I went back to my comics, pulling something out to examine the condition.

"I really didn't mean you." He assured me, with the same tone; it was then that I realized that that was how his voice sounded. I continued to flip through the comics but felt my icy exterior fade. At least he wasn't trying to be an asshole.

"Ok." I said simply.

"I-I meant the comics you were looking at," He persisted. My fingers stopped moving through the row and I lowered my eyes. I turned my head slightly.

"Something wrong with DC?" I asked, the frigid tone almost sneaking back in.

"Only the fact that it's not Marvel." Chris replied, trying to keep his voice light, "Come here. I'll show you a real comic." I grunted and scooted over as he pulled some things out to show me.

It was at that moment that I heard the volume on the TV turn up. Chris and I looked up to the news report; some red and black leather costumed superhero was going on about fighting crime 25/8 or something equally uncool. I rolled my eyes and went back to the Marvel comics Chris had pulled for me. The channel was showing various clips of this new guy called "Red Mist" (I know, totally gay), but I couldn't be bothered to listen; his voice was super annoying... but also kind of familiar.

"So, uh..." Chris started, shifting from foot to foot and smirking at me, "What do you think of that new superhero?"

"Sounds like a bit of a bitch." I said simply, giving up on the comics and just leaning my elbows on the side of the table.

"What?!" Chris yelled. I gave him a sidelong look, "Oh, you're probably some Kick Ass groupie, huh?" He tried to sound accusing, but his voice made that difficult. That voice...

"Sure." I said absentmindedly, my eyebrows furrowing as I looked back to the TV and tuned back in.

"I figured." Chris said more to himself, looking frustrated, "Anyone who likes DC comics would be a Kick Ass-"

"Don't say groupie again." I said, thinking I should accuse him of being a Red Mist fanboy until something clicked in my head, "Oh my God."

"What was that?" Chris asked, still sounding annoyed. I stood straight up, looking right into his face. He drew back a little, probably by the sudden change in my face.

"Are you seriously talking to me right now, man?" I questioned him, glaring.

"Wh-what are you talking about?" He asked. I rolled my eyes and pointed at the TV screen.

"You sound exactly like Red Mist. Your voice is so distinguishable, and you're risking talking to someone at the same time as that report?" I demanded heatedly, but in a whisper. Chris's eyes grew very wide.

"I-I don't know- I'm not Red Mist." He stammered.

"I'm not stupid." I scoffed. I put back the X-men comic I was holding and left Atomic Comics as fast as I could, my head reeling.

"Wait a minute!" I heard behind me as stepped onto the sidewalk. I stopped, allowing Chris to catch up.

"You aren't gonna tell are you?" He begged, his brown eyes shining with worry. I crossed my arms but felt myself melting.

"Of course not." I finally conceded. Chris let out a huge breath.

"Thank you." He said gratefully, "But why were you so mad?" I looked down the street, thinking about it.

"I dunno, maybe just because it was such a boneheaded move." I guessed.

"Boneheaded?" He said quietly to himself.

"And," I continued, "I don't really like knowing my allies' secret identities." He didn't react for a moment, thinking.

"Wait!" He finally said as his face broke, "You're a-"

"Yeah, why don't you say it louder? I don't think all the people in there heard you through the glass." I said harshly, cutting him off. Chris stopped, glanced in at all the people in Atomic Comics, some of whom were watching us, and nodded farther down the street. We started to walk together.

"So you're a superhero too?" He asked quietly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Yes." I replied shortly. He was silent another moment, maybe thinking I was going to say something else.

"Well what's your superhero name?" He prompted me. I felt that right here would be a perfect place for Bandit to smirk knowingly and say something witty; but right now I was Ellamae.

"I'm sure you'll find out soon enough." Was what I said instead. Chris narrowed his eyes in confusion.

"Ok..." He trailed off, "Well did you want to maybe team up sometime?" I just nodded. Chris smiled a little nervously.

"Well do you have a Myspace?" He asked.

"No." I replied, "But you can contact Kick Ass. I'm usually with him."

"Oh, so you are a Kick Ass groupie." He said, stopping on the sidewalk and crossing his arms. I felt the slightest smirk cross my lips, which Chris returned.

"No, we're partners." I corrected him. I started to walk off by myself.

"Hey, wait." He said again. I turned around, and cocked my head to the side.

"Mm hmm?" I asked, still feeling that playful little smile.

"You wanna maybe get together sometime, not Red Mist and... well whoever you are, but the real us? We can look over those Marvel comics." Was Chris D'amico hitting on me?

"That would be great." I started, before pulling several Spiderman comics out from my school bag, "But I think I know Marvel just as well as you." I laughed and gave him a sly look myself before leaving again.

"I don't suppose you're going to tell me your name?" He called to me.

"I don't think so." I said without stopping, "You'll just have to find out for yourself." And I winked at him before going around a corner. Maybe Ellamae wasn't such a boring girl after all.


	4. Padiddle

PLEASE READ THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE! VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION!

Ok, here's chapter 4. I know, it's been months. And honestly, the only reason I'm updating is to let everyone know that PICTURES ARE UP ON MY PROFILE PAGE!

Yes, thanks to a review from a more informed member than I, I was made aware that you can put links in your profile. SO ALL THE PICTURES RELATED TO THIS STORY AND ALL MY OTHER OCs ARE ON MY PROFILE.

**PLEASE CHCEK THEM OUT!**

**Also, thanks to everyone who reviewed! It's been too long to remember whom I have and haven't thanked yet, so just thanks to everyone. And now, on to what I hope to be a hilarious chapter 4.**

**Tell me what you think, and enjoy!**

It wasn't long after my interesting day at Atomic Comics that Red Mist contacted Kick Ass's Myspace. In fact, Dave was telling me about it the very next night. I hoped it was because of me that Red Mist had made such a speedy get-together, but that was mostly fantasizing. The exchange went as such:

It wasn't long after my interesting day at Atomic Comics that Red Mist contacted Kick Ass's Myspace. In fact, Dave was telling me about it the very next night. I hoped it was because of me that Red Mist had made such a speedy get-together, but that was mostly fantasizing. The exchange went as such:

"So have you heard of that new superhero?" He was asking me as we skulked around the streets, "Red Mist, I mean."

"No, actually." I said, holding back my smile. Dave was silent a minute, waiting for me to continue.

"No tricks?" He asked. Ah, so he was learning, "You haven't actually heard?"

"No tricks." I assured him, "Why don't you tell me about him."

"Oh, ok. Well he-"

"Of course I've heard of him, dork." I interrupted, smirking, "I was in Atomic Comics the day he went public."

"Wait, _you_ were there? _I_ was there!" He said, sounding maybe a little frustrated with himself for not looking for me, a habit he's told me he's taken up recently.

"No shit, Sherlock; I _saw_ you." I replied. Kick Ass was silent again, looking at my face for any sign of me lying. Like I'd let it show on my face; he still had a lot to learn about me I guess.

"Aha!" He said, pointing at me, "You weren't there." He had to dodge a signpost he'd nearly run into while he wasn't paying attention.

"I'm not lying." I said, completely deadpan, and staring him down.

"All right, you were there." He said feebly, holding up his hands. I smiled at him as we continued to walk.

"So anyway-"

"Red Mist messaged your Myspace." I finished for him, my smile turning into a smirk.

"How do you _do that_?" He demanded, flabbergasted. I just shrugged, "You wanna go meet him, then?"

"Yes." I said simply. So we changed course for the alley Kick Ass had specified.

We had been waiting in the dark space between two buildings for a while. Kick Ass was on the ground just screwing around and I sat on the ledge above him, watching Bitey chase rats. I was becoming impatient, but stayed in the shadows and waited like a good girl. I tried not to let my anxiety about seeing Chris again get to me. And before I knew it, Red Mist had appeared on top of a dumpster in the alley below me. I drew my legs up to avoid being noticed. I wanted to see if he'd tell Kick Ass about us meeting already, like I assumed he would.

I stifled a giggle as my partner finally noticed the other's presence, both striking a heroic pose as they were introduced. They went back and forth for a minute or two, throwing out compliments and generally playing kiss-ass. You know, the usual bullshit people say when meeting someone with some semblance of renown. I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"So anyway," Red Mist finally said, hands on his hips, rocking back and forth, "Where's your partner?"

"Who, Bandit?" Kick Ass asked, like he had some other partner besides me, "I thought she was around..." He trailed off, looking around for me.

"Oh, I figured she'd be with you." Red Mist said, losing the cocky tone he usually had. He maybe even sounded disappointed; I bit my lip and tried to hold back my smile.

"Wait." Kick Ass said, squinting at Red Mist and tilting his head to the side, "Bandit's never gone public. How do you know about her?"

"I met her once." Red Mist continued, picking up that cocky, but I had to admit _sexy_ smirk, "_Without_ a mask." He added, because he probably figured that would make my partner jealous.

"I hate to spoil your fun, man." Kick Ass said with a laugh and a self-confident grin of his own, "But she doesn't always wear her bandana. I know what she looks like too." Red Mist opened and closed his mouth, apparently not sure how to respond to that.

I then became aware that I was being used as a prop in a childish pissing contest, so I took the opportunity to slide down a drain spout and break it up.

"Someone say my name?" I said through my bandana. I didn't mean to discredit my partner, but I felt that wearing it was more neutral.

"There you are." Kick Ass said to me quite calmly, while Red Mist stumbled back a bit. Bitey followed me down, first jumping down to the dumpster previously inhabited by the newest of us superheroes, then right onto the startled Red Mist himself, before landing gracefully on the ground.

"Hey Bandit." Red Mist said in his usual cocky tone once he'd recovered, flashing me a toothy grin. I willed my heart to be still, and my voice to remain even.

"Hey Red Mist." I returned coolly. There was a stretch of silence as Kick Ass glanced back and forth between Chris and I, looking a little put out.

"Well now that we're all here..." Kick Ass started, but falling off as he realized that the ball was basically in Red Mist's court.

"Oh, yeah." He said, "You guys wanna go fight some crime?"

Kick Ass and I replied at the same time; me with a "hell yeah", and Dave with "what, now?" We looked at each other and laughed.

"Come on, partner." I said, giving him a playful shove, "Let's go have some fun." With that decided, Red Mist offered me his arm, which I refused, and we set off down the alley; Chris said he had something to show us.

"What's up with you two?" Dave asked me in hushed tones, his voice having a hardness to it. I raised an eyebrow at his tone.

"Absolutely nothing." I said evenly, "Don't be jealous."

"I'm not jealous!" He replied, sounding affronted.

"I know you aren't." I said, smiling a little more sweetly than usual and giving his hand a quick squeeze, "I'm just reminding you that you don't have to be." Dave seemed surprised by my sudden change in attitude, but gave me a weak smile and gripped my hand in return. He turned his head as we exited the alley.

"Sweet!" He said, sounding impressed. I looked into the parking lot to see a single car under the light of a street lamp. I'd never been much of a car person, but even I had to admit that Red Mist's ride was awesome.

"Meet the Mist Mobile." Chris said as he led us over to it.

"Oh wow." I said sarcastically. I thought Chris was cute with his dorky tendencies, but talk about living out a fanboy fantasy. He opened the passenger side door for me, and I crawled into the back seat with Mr. Bitey.

"You could sit up front-" Red Mist was saying, but Kick Ass pointedly cut him off by claiming the passenger seat for himself. So with that being taken care of, we were off.

We hadn't been in the car for five minutes before Red Mist was showing off all the gadgets he had equipped, as well as "the Mist", which I think he thought we would find really cool. I can't speak for Kick Ass, but I can easily say I was much more taken with his iPhone and GPS.

Then out of the corner of my eye I saw Red Mist pick something thin and white up from the ashtray and bring it to his lips. And from the way he took a drag off it and held it between his forefinger and thumb, I could tell it wasn't a cigarette.

"Smoke?" He had the audacity to ask Kick Ass and I. My partner politely declined, "I feel a little weed takes the edge off things when I'm on patrol, you know?"

"What about you, Bandit?" He said, trying to turn his face to see me in the back with a devil may care grin, "Wanna have some _real_ fun?" I glared at him before taking the vile substance from his hand.

"Ah, she knows how to party- ouch!" Red Mist's self-confident smirk dropped as I ground the smoldering end of the joint into his red and black wig. The foul-smelling smoke no longer issued from the open end, and there was a small circular singe mark in Chris's fake hair. He tried to protest as I reached across him to roll down his window and throw it out.

"The only thing you're taking an edge off is your ability to drive." I said dangerously in his ear before settling back down in my seat. He didn't seem angry with me, and I noticed a blush creeping out from under his mask; he _should_ be embarrassed. The car was silent for several blocks before, clear out of nowhere, Dave called a Padiddle. Simply from force of habit, I felt my hand smack the roof.

"What the hell was that?" Red Mist questioned the two of us. Kick Ass and I exchanged glances.

"You've never played Padiddle?" My partner asked incredulously.

"Um, no. Obviously not." Red Mist said, "What is it?"

"It's a driving game." I said, "When you see a car that has a headlight, taillight, or any light really, that's burned out you say 'Padiddle' and hit the roof of the car with your hand."

"Whoever hits the roof last has to remove an article of clothing." Kick Ass finished, looking at Red Mist like he was an alien; which was about the same look he was giving us.

"Like- like this?" He asked, tentatively tapping the roof with one hand, the other still on the wheel of the car.

"Precisely." I said, "Which makes you last." I added with a smirk.

"Wait, we're actually playing?" Kick Ass turned to look at me with fear in his eyes. I chuckled quietly at his face.

"Sure. Why not?" I asked nonchalantly with a shrug of my shoulders, "Doesn't Superhero-style Padiddle sound fun, Red Mist?" I directed this last sentence at Chris, who was looking at me in the rearview mirror. He was a teenage boy, and I knew what he was thinking. As a means of reply, he slowly pulled off his wig.

"Nice hair, man." I said, ruffling his short black hair and grinning. And from that point it was game on.

I called the next one, and Red Mist was last again; he pulled off a glove. Chris actually got the next call, using the side mirror to his advantage, with Kick Ass being the last to tap the roof. He laughed as he pulled off his batons, outraging Red Mist and I, but we let it go. Kick Ass saw the next one, and before I even lifted my arm I heard Red Mist slam his fist against the glowing red roof of the Mist Mobile with such intensity that it rang in the sudden silence of the car. I was last.

"This guy's hustling us!" I said, my mouth hanging open and pointing at the back of Chris's head. He and Kick Ass high-fived.

"Well?" I heard them say, looking expectantly at me. I can play this game, too. I just smirked and untied my bandana from my face.

"Awe, come on!"

"That's hardly fair."

"We already know what you look like."

"Give a guy a break!"

"Oh, I'm sorry." I said over the boys' whining, "And to think that this is coming from the guys who take off gloves and batons."

The three of us looked conspiratorially at each other. From then on the game got much more competitive and much more serious. Kick Ass even lost his pants after a series of calls on my part. I did a pretty decent job of staying decently clothed; until Red Mist called one from behind us, and Kick Ass's hand banged against the roof a fraction of a second before mine. I was down to my last layer. Sighing into a volley of laughing and whistling from the boys, I was about to remove my undershirt just as the car screeched to a halt.

"Oh my God." I said, looking out the front windshield at the burning lumber warehouse in front of us.

Red Mist glanced at Kick Ass and something seemed to click in his head. Then he looked back at me as if he'd never seen me before. He seemed to have driven to this place on autopilot, forgetting something seemingly important. And if the pained expression he was giving me was any clue, I wasn't supposed to have been here.


End file.
